Mind Makeover

looser in your thinking. Instead of having rigid impossibly high expectations try adapting some flexibility. Encourage yourself to aim for a range rather than one acceptable outcome.
Dennis came to realize that good and bad days are necessary to training. He also expanded his definition of acceptable mount behaviour. Now I really keep in mind that my horse is going to have good and bad and everythinginbetween days. He will not be perfect no matter how much I want him to be. He is no machine and neither am I so I decided to choose not to treat both of us that way.
The second fix is one Dennis just described it involves changing your I should to I want to or I choose to. This language shift will help you dissolve the pressure that goes along with the should habit. Instead of feeling like you are forcing yourself to do something you will be refocusing yourself on what you have the power to choose. 
What If?
What if thinking is the hallmark of the anxious mind What if I fall off? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I cant get my nerves under control? What if my pace is too fast? In the what if land of thinking thoughts breed like rabbits. There is no end to the number of catastrophes your mind can dream up. 
Ill Try
There once was this strange looking little Star Wars guy who proclaimed Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. His name was Yoda and he was full of pearls of wisdom just like that one. Have you ever tried to pick up a pencil? You either do or you dont. Usually when people say Ill try its a weak statement of intent. 
Stephanies coach was the one who first caught onto Stephanies try habit. She kept hearing her say it again and again Ill try to keep my leg on better Ill try to keep better control of my pace. Her coach said I really started to see a definite pattern in Stephanies language. Whenever I would give her instruction on what to do in a lesson she would often respond with Ill try. Then a weak attempt would follow. I would reiterate the directions and get the try thing again. I felt like pulling my hair out some days.
Stephanies coach is right. A whole lot of try